Friday, December 11, 2009

A male child?

Today I wanted to write about a friend whom I meet almost everyday and have become friends besides the difference in age.

This is my auto man - not my own auto - and not his own auto too. He has a rented auto which I take to go to office almost everyday. He usually tells where all he had been on the previous day, how his day was and usually ends with a note on some kid. He tells me that whenever he sees a small kid he remembers my son who stands in the balcony (to wave a bye to me) and looking at the dogs in the street and never at me. He keeps telling me how difficult it is to manage a kid at home and makes me thank my support structure back home almost immediately.

He should be twice my age, and has 7 kids. He told me today how it felt to lose his father about 2 weeks ago. He was fighting tears when he said, 'I am not sure, my 2 sons, who left our family, will ever think of me like how I think of my dad. I am working as hard as he worked, I love my family as much, yet I may not die his death'. I had to console him - think of your school going kids, you will feel better. Then he said, ' Yes I keep thinking of them, my last 2 daughters are going to school. I had put them in a good school thinking my sons will help me. But no one is there now. I sold my auto to get my 3 daughters married'. He continued, 'my father was bed ridden for 20 years, yet we treated him with respect. My eye sight is diminishing and I dont drive in the evenings, but if I can my girls can study better. My wife cries for days together when she gets to see any wedding. She remembers her 2 sons and thinks that she has missed their weddings. Looking at her, I sometimes think, if I am gone, what will she do. But she says, if she is gone, no one will look after me. She is right. My mother took care of my father until the last moment and was asking allah to take him away for his suffering was too much. Allah listened to her. May be I will land up someday like that and my wife will offer the same prayer. Allah, keep my wife safe for only she will pray for me'. He did not speak for a while. I dint know what I should say. It is difficult to console someone who is frustrated yet cannot give up. I muttered something like, a girl child is better, atleast she will take care of you. Then he said, what I think truly reflects a generation's thought process - only the girl is my daughter. Her husband is not a member in my family and will never become. My sons are mine, but when they get married, their wives don't belong to my family. The tragedy is even after marriage the girl will remain my daughter, but my son will be gone forever. Either way guys fail to make parents happy.

I thought, it is not true always, but did not tell him.